


Golden

by watchcatewrite



Category: One Direction (Band), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: (in a way), Anal Sex, Boxing & Fisticuffs, Coming Out, Emotional Intimacy, First Kiss, First Meetings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nipple Piercings, Oral Sex, Soft sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:02:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchcatewrite/pseuds/watchcatewrite
Summary: Josh wasn’t sure if it was his nerves, or the easy familiarity they’d built with soft smiles and acknowledging nods, but he just couldn’t push himself to break the spell each morning. Maybe that was all they were meant to be: ships passing in the night.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Harry Styles
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Golden

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marsakat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marsakat/gifts), [smitherreens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smitherreens/gifts).



> Sometimes your friend describes a picture of Josh Dun in a way that sounds like a Harry Styles song, and it all just snowballs from there.

Josh liked routines. 

He liked lacing up the same shoes every morning, feeling the familiar weight as his headphones settled over his ears. He liked the faint sound of the waves crashing underneath his music, and the way the morning fog seemed to part before his feet. Josh liked to push himself to that same corner every morning, to see if he could get there even a second faster, and then rest with his hands on his hips as he panted clouds of breath into the chilly morning air. It was the quietest his mind ever was, the most in his body he ever felt. And well, if he got to see _him_ that was just a bonus. 

The first time he’d thought for sure that he’d imagined it. Josh had done a quick double take, but the head of shaggy, brown hair was already too far gone, both their sets of running feet pulling them quickly away from each other. The next time Josh got a better look. He tried not to stare as the form grew closer and closer, the familiar face growing clearer. It wasn’t until the young man smiled at him that Josh knew for sure. 

Harry Styles was running on the same path of Santa Monica concrete as him. 

Now, granted, Josh had never been a huge One Direction fan. It had been impossible to avoid their music, and Josh had even enjoyed quite a bit of it (he was especially partial to _Steal my Girl_ ), but for the most part Josh hadn’t spent much time thinking about the famous boy band. Or it’s members. Their paths had never crossed, even in what usually felt like such a small town, and Josh had never expected to see one of them jogging towards him at 5:00 in the morning. But still, he couldn’t help that rush of adrenaline at seeing someone famous, even though he knew they were just like him. 

Harry’s smile widened as they grew closer to each other, and Josh could feel his cheeks heat in a blush. He was staring, he shouldn’t be staring. People hated that. He knew that better than anyone. Josh dropped his eyes quickly, trying to focus on not tripping over his own feet as they passed within a couple feet of each other. It wasn’t until he was a good 50 yards down the beach that he even realized he’d never smiled back. If Harry didn’t think he was a weirdo for staring, he’d definitely think he was after that. But hey, Josh would probably never even see him again. 

He did. 

After the second time he figured out how to smile demurely, Harry’s returning smile brighter than his own. After the fourth time they added a nod to each other, just a slight tip of the chin as they passed. By now Josh had started to actively look for him each morning, and before long it was as much a part of his routine as the rest of it. Josh would spend the next thirty paces after they passed each other cursing himself for the way his heart jumped in his chest every time the other man acknowledged him, wondering why he didn’t just stop and say something. 

They were equals weren’t they? Just two dudes who’d made music their life, who shared a stretch of empty beach in the early morning. Each day, before he set out on his run he told himself, _today’s the day. Just say hi. Say something._ But each time he failed. Josh wasn’t sure if it was his nerves, or the easy familiarity they’d built with soft smiles and acknowledging nods, but he just couldn’t push himself to break the spell each morning. Maybe that was all they were meant to be: ships passing in the night. 

* * *

In March Tyler started sending him audio files. Some were whole songs, some only snippets, but it woke Josh up in a way he hadn’t felt in a while. He’d forgotten how much he loved the rush of creating something completely new, like a secret only he and Tyler shared. His practice room suddenly felt too small, and Josh booked himself some time at a local studio. The night before he could hardly sleep, like a kid excited for Christmas. 

The lobby felt too big and open, and Josh thought about Tyler tucked safely away in his basement. He checked in at the front desk and the receptionist gave him directions to the third floor. Josh had to actively try not to shake on his ride up, his fingers already tapping beats that he could hear so clearly in his head. He surged out of the elevator, his mind already on the sticks in his hands, and hardly noticed the figure passing him on their way in. A glimpse of brown hair was all he caught before a warm voice filled the space between them. 

“Hey, it’s you.” 

Josh turned and found himself face to face with Harry’s glowing smile. The smile he’d missed this morning when he’d taken his run earlier to get to the studio on time. (The excitement at recording had outweighed his disappointment, but only barely.) Josh felt his cheeks immediately fill with a blush, and he hated his body for giving him away. Harry’s smile only widened, one hand reaching out for him while the other rested safely in the pocket of his brown corduroy pants. Josh took note of the oversized cardigan draped over his shoulders, how warm and soft he looked. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s me.” Good one, Dun. Smooth. 

“I’m Harry.” 

The hand was still outstretched. Josh could just barely see callouses on the tips of his fingers, and when Josh took his hand Harry’s grip was firm. 

“Josh.”

“Right, yeah. I saw you and your mate at the Grammy’s the other year. In your pants.”

Josh blushed again, trying to chuckle nonchalantly. “Yeah, definitely not one of my best ideas.”

“Think I’d disagree with you on that one.” Harry gave him a cheeky grin, and Josh watched his eyes travel up and down Josh’s body before he released Josh’s hand. 

Did he just flirt with him?

Josh cleared his throat nervously, his blush deepening, before gesturing over his shoulder at the studios behind him. “So you working on something or…?”

Harry was quick to fill the blank, his falling hand joining the other in his pockets. “Yeah, just playing around with things. You never really know what it sounds like until you get in there right? Even at home it sounds different.”

Josh was nodding before he had a clear response in his head. “Yeah, totally. It just sounds more… epic, in there.”

Harry nodded, smiling softly. “Exactly.”

Harry turned, glancing at the elevator doors that had already slid closed, before pushing the button gently. “Well I should let you get to it.”

“Uh yeah, sure.” Josh didn’t have much time to think about it before he said it, watching the words leave his lips like someone else was saying them. “Or you could come check it out. I mean, if you have time. You’re probably—“

Harry smiled again, like he could see Josh fumbling for words and cut him off. “No, I’ve got time.”

He waited, for Josh to say something or for him to lead him down the hallway, Josh wasn’t sure. 

“Cool. You can tell me if it sounds like shit or not.”

Harry laughed, and Josh felt his own cheeks split with a smile. It’s was a nice laugh, kind and warm. Like everything else about Harry, Josh noticed. Josh gestured with his shoulder and began walking down the hallway, Harry falling into step next to him. Their strides were surprisingly even, despite the noticeable few inches Harry had on him. Josh took the time to look him over as they walked, the well-worn sneakers on his feet and the vintage t-shirt under his sweater. 

“You’re not hot?” 

Harry watched Josh glance down at his own t-shirt and Nike shorts, before back at Harry’s long pants and laughed gently. “I keep hoping that if I wear the right clothes, California will figure out that it’s supposed to be cooler right now.”

Josh laughed. “Fat chance of that, sorry.”

Harry sighed dramatically and it sent Josh laughing again. “Yeah, I’m getting that impression.” 

The studio was empty. Josh had been offered a tech or two to assist him when he’d made the appointment but he’d declined. He wasn’t ready to share yet. Or at least, he thought he wasn’t. Harry shrugged his sweater off and laid it on the arm of the couch, before dropping into the chair behind the soundboard. He looked perfectly at home. 

“I can run things for you, if you want.”

Josh smiled at the offer. “You sure? I just invited you to listen, I don’t wanna put you to work.”

Harry’s returning smile was radiant. “It’s fine. Kinda fun to be on this side of things.”

Josh shrugged, dropping his bag onto the couch next to Harry’s sweater. He dug around in it for a moment, before rising with a flash drive in his hands. Josh handed it to Harry, who took it with almost a quiet respect, before turning to get things set up. Josh entered the room on the other side of the glass, a kit already set up and waiting for him. With the latch of the door behind him, perfect silence settled around him. Josh took in a deep breath, holding it for a moment before exhaling and relaxing his shoulders. Being in a studio still felt like a kind of worship to him, a feeling stronger even than the Sundays he’d spent at church. 

He settled down on the stool, giving it a quick bounce or two, just to warm up his knees. He rolled the sticks between his palms, before twisting them through his fingers a few times. On the other side of the glass Harry watched him, arms crossed and resting gently on the board in front of him. Josh picked his hat up off his head, flipping it around backwards, before settling the waiting headphones over his ears. It was quiet for a moment, and then Harry’s gentle voice filled the silence. 

“All set?” Josh nodded. “Want me to start something up for you, or you just wanna warm up for a bit?”

Josh tipped up a stick at the second option and Harry nodded. It was quiet again. Josh rapped at the snare experimentally, and the sharp sound cut through his headphones. He couldn’t help the grin that turned up the corners of his cheeks, and his eyes fell shut gently. He took another deep breath, his lungs full to bursting, before letting it out slowly. When his hands finally began to move they had a mind of their own, and Josh let them find the rhythm. 

He wasn’t sure how long he played for, combos twisting and morphing into something new as he went. When he finally felt the perfect time the sticks came to a stop, and Josh glanced up from the kit back to the window. Harry was still leaning forward, his arms resting on the board, and there was a delighted smile on his face. Josh blushed, chuckling quietly, and Harry leaned back in his chair. 

“All set?” Harry’s voice was soft compared to the sharp sounds that had filled his ears only a moment before. Josh gave him a thumbs up. “Shall I just start with the first track?”

Josh nodded again and Harry mirrored him. “Okay, here goes.”

The low clicking of the metronome started, and Josh’s leg began to bounce along with it. Next came the piano, soft notes leading him in. Tyler’s voice began to fill his ears, and Josh moved his head gently side to side, chasing the sound. The sticks rested in his lap, held tightly between his hands. Josh gave himself a count and then he was off, the beats he’d practiced at home filling his headphones. 

He glanced up at Harry a few times as he played. The younger man’s head moved slowly up and down, keeping time, the smile still pushing at the corner of his lips. Josh wondered if he always smiled, if Josh thinking of him as a ray of sunshine on their runs each morning wasn’t so far off. With his sweater gone Josh could _just_ see the tattoos covering his arms, even from a distance. It was such a stark contrast from Tyler, who’s simple tattoos left an expanse of tanned skin behind. Josh could feel his fingers twitch at the need to run the pad of one over the dark lines covering Harry’s skin. 

Josh’s sticks faltered and he cursed quietly under his breath, his movements coming to a halt. Harry looked almost concerned from the booth, and then his voice filled Josh’s ears again. It was so different from Tyler’s. 

“Everything okay?”

Josh nodded again, his voice unsteady after all the silence. “Yeah, just lost focus.”

Harry’s smile was cheeky again. “Am I distracting you?”

_Yes._

“Nah, I’m good.” Get out of your head, stupid. Focus. “Give it to me again, from the beginning.”

Harry nodded, that infernal smile still on his face, and started the track over. This time Josh focused on the count, his eyes on his kit. He watched his sticks move as he layered beats and combos. It was almost easy to forget Harry was in the room this way, when all Josh could see was the music. Tyler’s voice started to wind down, ending with a “that’s all I got, I dunno” and Josh glanced up to see Harry chuckle at Tyler’s words. Harry’s cheeks were flushed, his hand moving over the board as the track ends. 

“You want another one?”

Josh shook his head. “Gimme track five.”

They continued like this for a while, Harry queuing up tracks for him and Josh playing. He did his best to stay focused on the music, to not falter again, but even in the back of his mind he couldn’t banish the thought of Harry watching him. Josh couldn’t help wondering what he thought, if he liked the music Josh and Tyler were building together, or if it just sounded like a lot of noise. The smile was always there when he glanced up, but Harry’s voice got quieter each time he checked in with Josh. He seemed to slump further and further in his chair, until Josh finished a track and looked up to see Harry’s chin resting on his arms. 

Josh’s cheeks heated in a blush again. “Sorry, am I boring you? You don’t have to stay, I’m sure you have better things to do.”

Harry sat up, his back straight as an arrow. “No, no. Not at all. I was just enjoying it. It’s nice to watch someone play who’s so passionate.”

Josh ducked his head in another blush, his hands reaching for his headphones. “I’m coming out.”

He dropped into the couch on the other side of the glass, pulling his water bottle from his bag and taking long gulps. Harry swiveled in his chair until they were facing each other, pulling his right leg up over his knee, both hands softly grasping his ankle. Josh realized for the first time that Harry’s nails were painted a soft shade of pink, and not naked like he’d assumed. The color suited him, like the flush at the top of Harry’s cheeks. 

“What do you think?” Josh took a sip of his water, trying to pretend like the question didn’t actually matter to him. “Kinda different from the stuff you do.”

Harry chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Very. But in a good way. You’re a great drummer Josh, your instincts are spot on, and you make it look as natural as breathing.”

Josh blushed again. “You gotta stop complimenting me, man. I’m running out of blood to fill these cheeks.”

Harry laughed loudly, a music all its own that made Josh smile. 

“That blood going elsewhere?”

Josh choked on the sip of water he’s just taken, coughing harshly before finally catching his breath. “Walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

Harry grinned leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He watched Josh for a few minutes, saying nothing, and Josh could feel himself begin to squirm under that steady gaze. 

“What?”

“You’re just not what I expected.” It’s clearly not an insult, and Josh was about to ask him what he meant, when Harry began to elaborate. “There’s so much about your music that seems dark and harsh at times, but every time I compliment you you blush pinker than a peony.”

As if to illustrate his point, Josh blushed harder, taking another sip of his water to try and come up with a response. Harry beat him to it. 

“And I mean that in the most complimentary way I can. You seem like a kind man, Josh. I like that.”

It was too much all at once: the compliment, the earnestness, the way Harry was smiling at him so gently. Josh felt overwhelmed, and the heat in his cheeks remained. He swallowed his water slowly, but even with the extra time to think his brain struggled. Harry leaned back in his chair, unbothered by Josh’s silence, and turned around until he was facing the board again. He made a few moves before he turned back around and rose to his feet. 

“I should get going.”

Josh practically lunged to his feet. “Oh. Sure. Yeah, of course.”

Harry smiled at him again as he pulled his sweater from the arm of the sofa, and draped it over his left arm. He offered his right hand to Josh again, and Josh took it firmly. 

“It was really nice meeting you, Josh. Thanks for letting me listen to you play.”

Josh nodded like an idiot, as his hand pumped Harry’s up and down too enthusiastically, if he was honest. “Yeah, you too. Thanks for uh, thanks for the company.”

Harry let their hands drop and Josh instantly missed the warmth of it. “See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” Josh realized entirely too late what he meant, chuckling to try and appear smoother than he feelt. “Right, yeah, tomorrow. Same stretch of beach? Same time?”

Harry grinned at him, with what almost looked like fondness, and smiled. “Definitely. Cheers.”

He turned and then he was gone, the studio feeling decidedly empty without him in it. 

* * *

Josh was almost giddy as he laced up his shoes the next morning. There was a part of him that thought he was being stupid, that he was getting excited over nothing. But Harry had said he liked him, hadn’t he? And that he was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. Okay, maybe not in so many words, but still. Maybe Josh _was_ being stupid. Maybe he’d already made this into something bigger than it was. 

His headphones were decidedly quieter that morning, Josh letting his mind wander as he fell into his normal rhythm. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like this, all tongue tied with a stomach full of butterflies. Tyler always liked to tease Josh that he felt things too intensely. Tyler was one to talk, honestly, but Josh thought he was probably a little right. Maybe it was his anxiety that made everything feel heightened, or his fear that he always liked people more than they liked him. Whatever the cause Josh tended to crush hard. 

God, that was it, wasn’t it? He had a crush. A crush on Harry Styles. He’d be mad at himself for being such a cliché but who could blame him? The man was everything: handsome, talented, kind. He had an easy confidence to him that Josh envied, a feeling of total comfort in himself and who he was. Josh had gotten better as he’d gotten older, had started to feel more at peace with who he was (and who he was attracted to) but he knew he still had a ways to go. Harry made it look effortless. 

By mile three Josh was starting to get discouraged. No amount of thinking about Harry had made him magically appear, and Josh actually began to _worry_ that he wouldn’t see him that morning. It was silly, really. They’d only run past each other for the first time less than a month ago, but already Josh had come to expect it, to look forward to it even. After hitting mile five with no sign of him it was clear that Josh wouldn’t be seeing the other man that morning. By the time he'd arrived back at his apartment Josh could feel disappointment settling into the pit of his stomach, and he was glad boxing would give him an outlet that afternoon. 

He spent the entire drive to the gym thinking he was overthinking things, and that he had no reason to be upset. It was classic him, honestly, thinking he was overthinking until he thought himself in circles. Josh had come to see a lot of his boxing rituals as a reset, much like his running. It was a way to focus his brain on only the task at hand, to push himself to the point of exhaustion, until his mind finally quieted. The locker room was empty when he arrived and Josh focused on wrapping his hands as soon as he was done changing. It was a familiar pattern—over and through, around and around—and Josh tried to regulate his breathing as he did so. 

There was another man in the ring with his trainer when Josh emerged, but that wasn’t surprising. Josh usually trained one on one, but he also knew the benefit of group sessions. Sparring with a trainer was one thing, sparring with another boxer was completely different. Despite his more relaxed demeanor after his time preparing in the locker room, Josh was still feeling wound tight. He was distracted enough that he didn’t realize the other figure in the ring should have been familiar to him. 

“Josh, do you know Harry?”

Josh tried not to let his face betray his surprise when he turned to find Harry grinning at him. 

“Are you stalking me?”

It was clearly a joke but Josh still struggled for an answer. He finally settled on a safe “yes,” with a clearly joking tone. Harry laughed and Josh breathed a silent sigh of relief. 

“You guys do know each other, excellent. Harry’s also been training for a few years now, so you two are at similar levels. I think you’ll be a good match.”

Josh couldn’t think of anything else to do so he nodded, like he hadn’t just spent his entire morning thinking of the young man standing beside him. They started with some warm up drills, including some sit ups, and then it was into combos. They both already had a slight sheen of sweat, despite the colder morning by California’s standards, and Josh couldn’t help noticing that it seemed to make Harry glow. Focus, he needed to focus. This wasn’t the time for distraction. 

After warm ups they took a quick break, both guzzling down water, and Josh decided he could be normal enough to start a conversation. “I didn’t know you boxed.”

Harry nodded quickly, swallowing a large mouthful of water. “Started doing it on tour. Travels easy and keeps me fit.”

Josh nodded along with him. “And more fun than a treadmill.”

Harry grinned and gave him a cheeky wink. “Precisely.”

Next it was more combos, individually and together. Josh noticed that Harry’s footwork was impeccable, that he seemed to almost float over the canvas. Josh had always felt like he didn’t have the grace for boxing, truthfully, but Harry clearly did. Like everything else it seemed to come naturally to him, and Josh couldn’t help feeling envious. He was interested to see how they matched up together. 

He didn’t have long to wait, after about thirty minutes they were squared up from each other, the trainer positioned off to the corner. Even with them supposedly pitted against each other Harry had a smile on his face, and Josh found it as infuriating as he did charming. How was he supposed to want to punch someone who was smiling at him? They danced around each other for a bit first, and then Josh landed the first punch. After that it was like the spell was broken, and both finally went at. 

Harry’s style was different than Josh’s, the product of a different training style and a different body type. Josh’s technique was based on his power, waiting to take shots that would be the most effective. Harry’s, however, seemed built around his litheness, moving around Josh until he got dizzy or tired, and then leaning in to strike. It was hard to keep up with him and Josh was starting to feel like an old man, when Harry surprised him with a right cross to his jaw. It sent his ears ringing and Josh held up his glove for a pause. 

Josh rolled his jaw back and forth slowly, waiting for his hearing to return to normal. 

“You good, Josh?” His trainer’s voice contained little concern, Josh had shrugged off worse. 

“Yeah, just rang my bell. Give me a sec.”

Harry finally came to a stop as he watched Josh, his face a mix of concern and guilt. Josh responded like he could read his mind.

“I’m cool, don’t worry.”

He couldn’t be sure but he swore Harry’s shoulders relaxed a bit. Was he worried about him? Really? Josh gave his head a good shake and everything fell back into focus. He rolled his shoulders, bringing his arms back up, and tipped his chin at Harry to continue. They both got in a few more punches before time was finally called and it seemed Josh’s trainer was right: they were pretty evenly matched. Josh wasn’t sure if that was an indication he could keep up with the younger man, or if Harry just had the patience to wait for his old ass. 

The next forty-five minutes passed easily, and despite their proximity Josh could feel himself starting to relax. Part of him wanted to think more critically about how attuned he was to Harry and his presence already, but there was clearly not enough brain power to spare. By the end of the session he was physically and mentally exhausted, and he and Harry both dropped to the mat, water bottles in hand. 

“You’re pretty impressive, dude. I wouldn’t have pegged you for a boxer but you surprised the shit out of me.”

Harry grinned at him. “Back at ‘cha, mate. Suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, I’ve seen videos of you guys playing and those abs are no joke.”

Josh could feel a blush burning at his cheeks and he got that nagging feeling again. He was flirting with him. Wasn’t he?

“Can’t be passing out on stage, now can I?”

Harry tipped his water bottle at him. “Very true.”

They kept up the light conversation as they headed to the locker room. Josh asked how Harry was feeling about the weather today (still too damn hot), and if he had been training at the gym long. Harry reciprocated with a question about where he should get lunch later, a recommendation that Josh was all too happy to give. (It didn’t result in an invitation to join him, but Josh hadn’t been expecting one anyway. Really.) They both took seats on opposite benches, and Harry watched as Josh unwrapped his hands. Josh glanced up giving the younger man a small smile. 

“It’s weirdly soothing, right?” 

Harry nodded in agreement. “I like that it’s methodical. That it builds on itself in a set pattern.”

It sounded like something Josh himself would say, and he was surprised how their minds aligned. Harry was still watching when Josh finished, both of his hands still wrapped. Josh decided it might be a weird question to ask, but he was going to do it anyway. 

“Need a hand?” He tipped his head toward Harry’s hands, and Harry seemed to realize they were still untouched. 

“Oh, uh, sure. Thanks.”

Josh knew he was more than capable, anyone who’d boxed as long as Harry clearly knew how to wrap and unwrap their hands, but just like everything else, sometimes it was nice to have someone do it for you. Harry’s hands were warm, soft even, with slight calluses on the tips of his fingers. Musician’s hands. Josh couldn’t help smiling to himself as he began untwisting the wrap, Harry’s hands reminding him so much of Tyler’s. So alike but also so different. Harry watched him work. 

“What do you like about it?” Josh looked up, a question in his eyes, and Harry clarified. “Boxing, I mean.”

“My head tends to get a little loud, and I like that it doesn’t leave any room for that. You’re constantly pushing yourself to what you think is the point of exhaustion, and then finding a feeling of accomplishment when you reach past that point.”

Harry nodded along as he spoke, offering another question. “What’s it so loud about?”

“Everything. Anything.” Josh gave him a small smile as he finished Harry’s left hand, before taking his right. “Will people get what Tyler and I are working on, am I giving the band my all. Am I being a good dad to Jim, do I know what to do if there’s a tsunami. Y’know, regular stuff.”

They both laughed quietly and Josh continued moving his hands over Harry’s. 

“Who’s Jim?”

“My dog. He’s about seven months old.”

“Ah.” Harry nodded, understanding. “I was about to worry I’d missed a vital news announcement.”

Josh laughed again, shaking his head. “No, not yet. But someday probably. Jim’s enough for now though.”

Harry nodded as Josh finished up his right hand, about to pull it from Josh’s grasp, but Josh held on. If he was going to do this he was going to do it properly. He dug the pads of his fingers into Harry’s knuckles gently, kneading and increasing the pressure until Harry let out a little hiss. When he was satisfied the muscles and tendons were looser than when he started, Josh turned his attention to Harry’s other hand, doing the same. They were both silent, breathing quietly, as Josh performed his ministrations. 

“There.” He released Harry’s hand somewhat reluctantly, and glanced up at the younger man. “All done.”

“Cheers.”

They both stared at each other for a moment, Josh’s heartbeat sounding like a kick drum in his ears. He hadn't noticed before how soft Harry’s lips looked, how his hair fell almost perfectly over one eye. Josh had the sudden overwhelming urge to tuck it behind Harry’s ear but he resisted. That would definitely have been too weird. Harry’s eyes traveled over Josh’s face, pausing briefly at his lips, and Josh got that feeling again. Like there was more going on here than either one had spoken to. But it was over just as quickly, and Josh convinced himself he imagined it. 

They walked out of the gym together, Josh giving Harry some last instructions to the place he’d recommended for lunch. Harry thanked him before hopping into his car, and Josh watched him drive away from the front seat of his own. He was exhausted and his mind was clearer than it had been earlier that day, but disappointment was still there, sitting heavy in the pit of his stomach. 

* * *

Josh didn’t see Harry the next few days, though he continued to run the same stretch of beach. He actually started to worry that he’d somehow offended him, or scared him off, but tried to push the thought to the back of his mind. He found it harder to relax in the mornings, to find his usual stride, when his head was always wrapped up in thoughts of the younger man. Those thoughts were almost loud enough to drown out the footfalls of someone catching up behind him, until a familiar form fell into stride beside him. 

“Morning.” Harry seemed to glow again, his hair ruffled, and a slight sheen of sweat highlighting his cheek bones. 

Josh grinned, pulling his headphones off his ears and resting them around his neck. “Morning.”

“Going my way?” Harry tipped his chin up toward the path stretched out in front of them and Josh chuckled. 

“Looks like it.”

Harry flashed him a thumbs up, both of them laughing breathlessly, as they continued their brisk strides. They didn’t talk much, both of them keeping a strong pace, but it was still weirdly nice. Josh wasn’t usually one to look for company on a run (mostly because he liked the time to himself) but Harry was a quiet, calm presence at his side, both of them seeming to egg each other on. Josh’s favorite corner came into view, and he flashed Harry a smile. 

“Race you.”

They both took off at top speed, laughing as they pulled neck and neck with each other. Josh thought he had it in the bag for sure, until Harry suddenly pulled away, and Josh remembered the other man had a slightly longer stride than him. Josh reached the corner only a few moments after Harry did, and they both stood for a moment with their hands on their hips, panting. Harry swiped an arm across his forehead, as Josh leaned forward to rest his hands on his needs. 

“Sorry, mate.” Harry didn’t look sorry at all, that cheeky grin back on his face. 

“No you’re not.” Josh huffed, and Harry rewarded him with a laugh. 

“You’re right, I’m not.”

They rested for a few minutes longer, their breaths starting to slow. Josh was almost about to offer that they start up again, but something stopped him. It was nice, just sharing the moment between the two of them. The sun was just over the horizon now, the sky awash with bright orange and pink. Josh couldn’t help feeling grateful, just like he did every morning, that he lived in such a beautiful place. And today he even had welcome company. 

“Haven’t seen you in a bit.”

Harry laughed, still panting. “The label’s been keeping me busy. I finished a few songs yesterday so they took me out for drinks last night to celebrate. I got absolutely pissed.”

“And you’re out here running the next morning? Kicking my ass? Clearly I’m not training hard enough.”

Harry waved him off. “Don’t take it personally, mate. I’m just really gifted.”

Josh laughed as Harry smirked at him, reaching out to shove Harry gently. The younger man swayed slowly back and forth for a moment, before coming to rest again. They were both breathing more normally now, and Josh was feeling ready to offer they get back to it. He wasn’t sure how long Harry would stick with him, stride for stride, but he’d be thankful for whatever time he got. At least it was harder to overthink every word out of his mouth, when his body had other things to worry about. Like putting one foot in front of the other. 

“You ready?” Josh motioned toward the path with a tip of his head, and Harry groaned loudly in response. 

“Let’s be done with it then.” At the last word Harry began to jog off, Josh falling into step beside him. 

The next mile was quiet, just the crash of the waves and their heavy breathing. Josh honestly was impressed, Harry’s steps never faltered, and he didn’t complain even once as Josh pushed them on and on. He made a nice loop of the familiar streets, coming back around to where Harry had first joined him. Josh was willing to bet his home was somewhere around. Harry seemed to take the hint, and turned on to a new street as Josh followed. They went up and across a few more, before coming to stop in front of a large apartment building. 

Harry hunched over, his hands on his knees as he panted loudly. Josh couldn’t help grinning, his own hands on his hips again, as he watched the younger man struggle to slow his breathing. 

“You good, man?”

Harry nodded, waving him off with a hand. “Fine. Totally fine. It’s this young, agile body.”

Josh snorted, watching as Harry finally righted himself, wiping the sweat from his brow again and raking a hand through his hair. Harry gestured over his shoulder at the building. 

“This is me.”

“I gathered that.” Josh was already turning as he smiled at Harry, getting ready to head back in the opposite direction, toward his own apartment. 

“Come up for a tick, grab a water or something.”

Josh almost gulped. “You sure?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Harry waved him off again, already heading toward the door of the building. “C’mon I’m knackered, let’s sit for a bit.”

Josh followed him into the building and on to the elevator, up to the 10th floor. It wasn’t quite the top, but Josh had a feeling it had a stunning view regardless. Harry’s door was at the end of the hallway, in the corner of the building. As soon as he opened it Josh could see why he’d chosen the apartment. Floor to ceiling windows covered two walls of the living room, looking out over the water and at the gradually lightening sky. Josh let out a low whistle. 

“Nice, right? My agent picked it out. I was gonna complain on the price until she showed me the view.”

“Definitely worth the money.” Josh’s voice trailed off as he moved closer to the windows, surveying the view down below them. You could see a few miles up the beach in both directions, and Josh was willing to bet Harry got some truly incredible sunset pictures, right from the comfort of his own couch. 

“Water? Green juice?” Harry was holding up a bottle from his fridge. “They’re horrid but supposedly good for you.”

Josh smiled, chuckling lightly as he moved to join Harry in the kitchen. “Water’s fine.”

Harry’s hand dipped back into the fridge, returning with a boxed water that he threw to Josh. Normally Josh would have found boxed water pretentious, but it just kind of fit into Harry’s whole _thing_. Josh had the feeling Harry had been conscious of his carbon footprint before it had become truly trendy amongst celebrities to speak out about climate change. Everything about him screamed “do the most good,” including his recyclable water. 

Josh took a large gulp, and leaned forward to rest his arms on the dark granite countertop of the island in the middle of Harry’s kitchen. Harry removed his own boxed water from the fridge, and hopped up easily onto the adjacent counter. His legs swung back and forth gently, and Josh had a sudden rush of affection for the younger man. They both sipped their water in silence for a few minutes, Josh watching the way the light climbed higher and higher up Harry’s legs, from his striped socks to the bottom of his thighs. 

“You headed back to the studio again soon?” Harry’s question broke the silence and Josh almost startled before catching himself. 

“No, uh, thought I’d try a few more things at home first. I sent Tyler the files from the other day and he had some ideas for me that have kept me busy.”

Harry studied Josh carefully as he asked his next question. “Is it hard being on opposite ends of the country?”

Did he mean as a band? As friends? As the complicated thing they were now?

“Kinda. I mean, he’s my best friend, I certainly miss him. But Columbus isn’t always the best place for me, and he gets that.”

Harry was still watching him, and Josh studied the company story printed on the back of his water rather than meet his eyes. 

“You guys seem really close.”

Josh finally glanced up at him to see Harry’s curious eyes still watching. He got the feeling Harry wanted to ask him something else. Josh wished he’d just do it. 

“Yeah, we’ve been friends for almost ten years now. We used to be all each other had, but thankfully it’s not just the two of us in the back of a van anymore.”

Josh wondered if his voice sounded as nostalgic as he felt. Music had gotten decidedly more fun once Josh didn’t have to worry about when he’d eat next, but there was still a part of him that missed those simpler days. Sometimes he felt so far away from the man he used to be, and while that usually felt like a good thing, sometimes it kept him awake at night. 

“I remember seeing a blonde with him in a yellow dress at the Grammy’s. Wife?”

Josh nodded, taking another sip of his water. “Jenna. She’s great.”

Harry nodded, his eyes focused somewhere in the distance as he drank some more of his water. Josh watched as his legs began to sway back and forth again. 

“What about you, dating anyone?” The words were out before Josh could think better of it and he wasn't sure what was worse: that he had actually asked, or that his segue made it sound like his discussing Tyler was him discussing his ex. Even if that wasn’t far off the mark. 

Harry shook his head, hiding a grin behind his water. “Not presently. But you never know who you’re gonna run into.”

Josh was more sure of it this time, Harry _was_ flirting with him. He left his water on the counter, moving around it slowly as he tested his theory. Harry watched him approach, unmoving, until Josh was almost in his space. Josh watched his legs open a little wider, making room for Josh to get closer. Seated on the counter Harry was a good head taller than him, but Josh didn’t care. He kept his gaze on those warm brown eyes as he drew closer and closer. 

If he fucked this up it wasn’t even a friendship yet, right? What did he really have to lose?

Josh placed his hands on the counter next to both of Harry’s hips, leaning forward until they were hardly a breadths distance from each other. Harry watched him, breathing quietly, his eyes still curious. He didn’t move as Josh finally closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to Harry’s. It was soft at first, both of them acclimating to the sensation, but then Harry was sucking a deep breath in through his nose, and Josh felt the sharp corner of the boxed water bite into his back as Harry put his arms around Josh’s neck. 

Josh’s hands moved to Harry’s hips as the kiss deepened, both of them trying to pull each other closer as their lips moved and pressed against each other. Harry broke the kiss for only a moment, taking a quick breath, and Josh could feel a smile on Harry’s lips when the younger man brought their mouths together again. This close Josh could tell that Harry smelled like a mix of tobacco and vanilla, the sweet scent of sweat underneath it all. It was warm and strangely comforting, and Josh felt it fill his head like a fog. 

When Josh finally pulled back he was gasping, Harry’s arms still resting heavily over his shoulders. 

“You okay?” Harry sounded breathless, his cheeks a warm pink, and Josh couldn’t help leaning in to kiss the top of each one gently. 

“I’m fine. Just… needed a second.” 

Harry chuckled as he watched Josh catch his breath, his fingers scratching softly at the nape of Josh’s neck. Josh felt warm all the way to the tips of his toes, little shivers running down his back, kickstarting his heartbeat again each time. Harry leaned forward, kissing Josh’s temple and then the side of his nose. Josh’s eyes fell shut as the lips continued to move over his face, until there wasn’t a bit of skin that hadn't felt the gentle press of Harry’s lips. Harry pulled him closer again, whispering into Josh’s hairline. 

“I was hoping you’d do that. Didn’t wanna presume.”

Josh chuckled quietly, pressing a kiss into Harry’s neck. “That I was interested in the industry’s most eligible bachelor?”

“That you were interested in _men_ , at all.”

Josh laughed louder this time, pressing a kiss to the apple of Harry’s cheek. 

“Don’t worry.” Josh kissed Harry’s lips gently before continuing. “No sexual awakenings here, just a good old fashioned crush.”

Harry seemed delighted at his choice of words, and he pulled back from Josh’s arms until he could bring a hand to his chest in mock surprise. “On _me_?”

Josh laughed and Harry grinned at him wickedly. “Admit it, you’ve been listening to my music since _What Makes You Beautiful_.”

“If you’re gonna make fun of my love of boy bands I’m gonna leave.” To show he meant business, Josh began to back out of Harry’s space slowly. 

Slowly enough that Harry caught his arm easily, pulling him back in close. “Absolutely not.”

Harry still had a smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss Josh again, and Josh realized it was quickly becoming one of his favorite smiles. 

* * *

The shared runs started to become a daily occurrence. Josh liked that there was never any pressure to fill the quiet mornings, sometimes they talked, but more often than not they just ran next to each other in silence, both with their headphones on. It felt weirdly intimate, even though they weren’t even looking at each other most times. Josh thought maybe that was what intimacy was: finding someone you could be comfortably silent with. It was their little secret, but not for long. 

Harry held his phone up to Josh’s eye level, from where he was laying on Josh’s couch with his head in Josh’s lap. There was a picture of the two of them running, both in shorts and Josh shirtless, with his t-shirt tucked into the back of his waistband, under the headline “Celebs Run Wild.” Josh snorted, turning back to his phone and the Twitter thread he’d been reading. 

“Clever.” 

He ran his fingers through Harry’s hair again, and tucked it behind the younger man’s ear before starting over once more at the crown of his head. Harry hummed quietly. 

“What’s that thing they always use for girls who are clearly dating? ‘Lady friends?’” Harry glanced up at him. 

Josh grinned, chuckling. “‘Gal pals.’”

“‘Gal pals.’” Harry intoned, turning back to his phone. “Maybe ‘running buddies’ will be our ‘gal pals.’”

Josh laughed again, louder this time. “How romantic.”

They took things slow, though Josh assured Harry it wasn’t due to any specific misgivings. There was a part of him that still felt like it was too delicate, like he could mess it up at any moment, and unlike that first kiss Josh found that he now had too much to lose. It was almost a month of morning runs and making out on their respective couches when Josh had Harry over for a “proper” dinner. He was nearly shaking with nerves by the time the doorbell rang, but a few glasses in to the wine Harry brought and it all faded away. 

“Maybe _I_ should get one.”

Josh stared at Harry blankly, earning him a (in Josh’s humble opinion) positively adorable snort from the younger man. 

“A nose ring.” Harry tapped the side of his nose with a finger, indicating the spot where Josh’s own nose ring sat. 

“ _Oh_.” Josh nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely. Definitely. Like as soon as possible.”

Harry laughed, his cheeks almost as red as the wine in his glass, and smacked Josh affectionately. “Shut up.”

They both laughed and Josh took another sip of his wine as Harry continued. 

“What about you?”

Josh looked down at his own nose, crossing his eyes comically, and Harry snorted again. “I already have my nose pierced.”

“No, you twat.” Harry laughed loudly. “I meant what’re you gonna get pieced? When I get my nose pierced.”

“Oh, so we’re getting things pierced now, okay.” 

Harry watched him, grinning, as Josh brought his hand to his chin, seemingly deep in thought. An idea occurred to him, the honest answer, and Josh started to turn a bit red. Harry, of course, noticed immediately. 

“What? What is it?” He looked like a kid on Christmas, giddy at the thought of what Josh would say.

“I’ve—I’ve kind of been wanting to get my nipples pierced.”

Harry’s eyes went as big as saucers, and Josh was sure he’d done something wrong. Harry didn’t even reply, just lunged for his phone and started typing frantically. Josh had done it, he’d fucked up royally. They were having so much fun, he didn’t think he’d offend him. Oh god what was he typing? Quickest routes out of Santa Monica? A tweet about what a pervert Joshua Dun, drummer for the band twenty one pilots, was??

“Okay there’s one still open nearby.”

Harry was already getting up from the couch, leaving his glass of wine on the coffee table and shuffling on his shoes. Josh watched him, confused. 

“What?”

“There’s a shop, nearby, that’s still open. The Uber’ll be here in like ten.”

“A shop?” Josh felt five steps behind. He didn’t even think he’d had that much to drink but clearly his brain wasn’t working correctly. 

Harry finally stopped moving, glancing down at him and seemingly just realizing how lost Josh was. “A tattoo and piercing shop. So you can get your nipples pierced.”

Now it was Josh’s turn to feel his eyes go wide. “What? Now?”

Harry nodded very seriously, reaching out for his hand. “Yes. Definitely now.”

If the Uber driver recognized either of them he didn’t say anything. Josh was pretty sure he wasn’t either of their demographics anyway, but you never really knew with LA. Just as Harry said, the shop was still open when they pulled up. The place looked clean and not even the tiniest bit sketchy, which Josh appreciated. He was a little tipsy but not tipsy enough to be okay with a seedy tattoo shop. The woman behind the counter was nice, she got them all checked in and didn’t even blink twice at their names. Though Josh was pretty sure he heard her telling Harry how much she loved his album, while Josh was filling out the paperwork. 

Sitting in the chair felt familiar, even though he hadn’t gotten tattooed in a while. It gave him a sudden urge for a new one, and he busied himself thinking of ideas so he didn’t have to consider the needle that was going to be going through his nipples soon. Harry walked slowly around the station, looking at all the flash and other artwork on the walls. He looked calm as a cucumber, but then again he wasn’t the one about to get two little metal bars shoved into his nipples. 

“You look awful, was this a bad idea? Did I push? We can still go.” Harry was on him in a moment, as soon as he noticed Josh’s pale demeanor, and reached for Josh’s hand. 

Josh had a moment to think they should be more careful, someone had already recognized Harry, but it felt too nice to have Harry’s fingers laced between his own. 

“No, I’m good. I want them. Just, y’know. Needles.”

Harry smiled at him, understanding in his eyes, and Josh could feel some of the tension ease from his shoulders. 

“Why is it always blokes with tattoos and piercings that don’t like needles? You know how this works right?”

Harry’s smile was cheeky and Josh elbowed him. “Shut up.”

The piercer took his time setting up and marking Josh’s nipples. Josh appreciated the throughoughness, if he was honest, even though every second that ticked by made him more and more anxious. The air was a bit cold with his shirt off, and it was one of the few times Josh actually wanted to put it back on. He kept glancing over the head of the piercer, catching Harry watching him from over the guy's shoulder, thumbnail between his teeth. He didn’t look anxious for Josh, but rather almost hungry, and it made Josh flush all the way down to his shoulders. 

“You good, dude?” The piercer looked at Josh like he thought he was gonna pass out, and Josh was mildly offended at the very notion. 

“I’m good. Just cold.”

The guy chuckled, returning to his work. “It’s all in your head, man. Don’t worry.”

Harry finally came back around to Josh’s side, leaning against the chair so Josh could feel the warm press of Harry’s chest against his shoulder. He could _just_ smell Harry’s cologne, and it had an almost instant calming effect. Harry reached up to give his shoulder a soft squeeze, his other hand at the nape of Josh's neck where the piercer couldn’t see. He ran the blunt end of his fingernails—an orangey coral this week—up into Josh’s hair and across his back, until Josh’s shoulders finally started to fall. Harry stilled momentarily as the piercer paused, lifting his head to catch Josh’s eyes as he reached for the forceps. 

“Ready?”

Josh nodded quickly. “Let’s do it.”

The first one was like a hot poker through his nipple. Josh sucked a breath in through his teeth, and Harry’s fingers began their movements at the base of his neck again. He squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds, trying to catch his breath, and Harry gave his shoulder another soft squeeze. The piercer was kind enough to give him a moment to get ready for the second one, but Josh urged him on. Better to just get the damn thing over with. When they were both done the piercer held up a mirror for him, so Josh could see the result, handing it off to him before he began cleaning up his station. 

When the piercer was out of earshot Harry leaned in, his lips just barely touching the shell of Josh’s ear. “Fuck those are sexy.”

Josh didn’t have time to respond, instead turning a dark shade of red, before the piercer returned. 

“Keep ‘em clean, and try not to touch them as much as you can. That includes sucking on them, flicking them, or anything else.” Josh couldn’t see Harry’s face behind him, but he could guess that he looked a bit crestfallen. “Give ‘em a good six months before you try anything fun.”

The instructions were given without an ounce of humor, and it occurred to Josh that this was just all part of the job for him. He almost wanted to ask him what the weirdest thing he’d pierced was, but he had a feeling it would be received about as well as those obnoxious questions Josh got asked over and over. Instead Josh shook the guy’s hand and pulled his shirt back over his head. Carefully. With a last goodbye to the woman at the front they were off, back in an Uber and back on their way to Josh’s apartment. 

Harry slipped his hand into Josh’s in the back seat, leaning until his head could rest on Josh’s shoulder. 

“Six months.” He pouted. “Not that I wanna rush you or anything just—“

Josh laughed quietly. “It’s fine.”

They were about half way home when Josh remembered. “Weren’t you going to get your nose pierced?”

Harry had the decency to blush, looking properly ashamed of himself. 

Josh couldn’t help noticing how Harry looked at him after that. He’d always paid a bit more attention when they were on their runs and Josh was shirtless, but this was a whole other level. Josh couldn’t help the blush that kept blooming out over his cheeks, or the way his stomach clenched in anticipation. Harry was always gentle whenever they were laying down on the couch, careful to keep his hands lower on Josh’s chest so he didn’t accidentally bump the piercings. Josh wasn’t afraid to admit that he was looking forward to the day the other man’s hands could travel a bit further north. 

They were in Harry’s apartment, watching a movie, when Tyler finally decided to weigh in. Josh wondered if he’d been reading the same articles that Harry sent him links to, with comments like “I’d run with you any day, bud” or “damn, my ass looks great in those shorts.” He wondered if Tyler was filling in the blanks on his own. Josh felt slightly guilty for not bringing it up sooner, but there was a part of him that liked the private bubble they’d built out by the beach. It took the pressure off of trying to define what they’d been doing the last few months, what they meant to each other. There was a part of Josh that still worried he was more invested in this than Harry, and it was just easier not to bring it up. 

_Okay, do you really like running that much or is there something else going on?_

Leave it to Tyler not to beat around the bush. 

_I really like running. But I like Harry too._

Josh almost expected a joke at Harry’s past, or even barely veiled concern for Josh's image (which really meant the image of the band), but instead he was surprised. 

_He seems like a nice guy, from the interviews I’ve seen. I’m glad you’re happy out there, Joshie._

It was as close to a blessing of their whatever this was that Josh was likely to get, and Josh felt his throat go a little tight. He cleared it quietly, trying to ignore the way his eyes were starting to sting, and Harry looked up from where he was painting Josh’s toenails blue, down at the end of the couch. Harry’s eyebrows raised with a silent question, but Josh waved him off, smiling. The younger man nodded gently before returning to his work, adjusting Josh’s foot where it rested in his lap. When he was done Harry laid down next to him on the couch, his head over Josh’s heart, and Josh spent the rest of the night thinking about how it was the happiest he’d felt in a long time. 

* * *

When the article showed up on a gossip site two weeks later Josh was surprised at his own reaction. The headline was everything Tyler used to worry about when they were younger—“More Than Friends?”—but Josh felt strangely calm as he read it over, noting what they’d gotten wrong and what they’d managed to deduce correctly from the scarce amount of time the two of them had spent together in public. Abby sent him an excited text, asking him to _please_ tell her it was true, and Josh ended up smiling instead of worried. He wasn't surprised when his phone buzzed next and it was Harry’s name on the screen. 

“Hey, have you—“ Harry’s voice sounded slightly worried. 

“Yeah.”

“Are you, okay?”

Josh thought about how they never really had a solid discussion about it, that Josh never actually explicitly said that he wanted to keep things a secret. But Harry had still assumed that it would be a problem, that the last thing Josh wanted was this getting out. He thought about how Harry wasn’t worried for himself, only for Josh, and the freedom that must come with that. It wasn’t a problem for Harry unless Josh made it one, and Josh didn’t want to. He wanted the freedom not to worry about it either. 

“I’m great. You still gonna come over when you’re done at the studio?”

He couldn’t quite hear the sigh of relief that Harry probably let out, but he _could_ hear the smile in his voice when he replied. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you at 5:00?”

“Sounds good.”

When 5:20 rolled around Josh had half a mind to start getting worried, but then Jim was sprinting off to the front door, and the spare key was scraping in the lock, and Josh couldn’t help smiling as he heard Harry bustle in. Jim, of course, got the first welcome, with plenty of cooing and head scratches, Josh imagined. After that he could hear the golden shuffling closer to the kitchen, no doubt trailing Harry, and before long a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. Josh smiled as Harry pressed a kiss below his ear, the smell of vanilla and tobacco suddenly all around. 

“Sorry I’m late. You know how it gets.”

“No worries. Pasta’s almost done.”

“Mmm, pasta.” Harry glanced over Josh’s shoulder and down at the pot of noodles. “How… safe of you, J.”

“Hey!” Josh shoved his hips back, knocking Harry back a bit, laughing. “This recipe has over ten steps, okay? I am a _chef_.”

Harry laughed, pressing another kiss into Josh’s neck as he pulled him closer. “Sure you are, love.”

_Love._

Josh liked that. They hadn’t gotten into nicknames much yet, Harry usually stuck to J, and Josh preferred Harold when Harry was being adorably ridiculous, but love was inescapably a term of endearment. Josh let himself relax into Harry’s arms a bit, humming softly, and Harry tightened his hold around Josh’s waist. He continued to press lazy kisses into Josh’s neck, under his ear and down to his chin. Josh could feel his eyes drooping, his body starting to feel all warm and tingly. He sighed, letting his head fall to his shoulder so Harry had better access. 

“Can I have you for dinner instead?”

Harry’s whispered words sent a shiver down Josh’s spine, and before his brain could think better of it he was pushing his hips back again, grinding against Harry slowly as he let out a little moan. He could feel Harry smile against his skin. 

“Mmm, would you like that, beautiful?”

Josh decided he didn’t care anymore, he was tired of worrying. Harry might not want him forever, but he wanted him here and now, and Josh wanted him too. He let his head fall back against Harry’s shoulder, letting out another little moan as he nodded quickly. Harry didn’t have to be told twice. He pulled Josh back from the stove gently, keeping an arm around his waist, and the other across his chest. His lips pressed against Josh’s ear, and Josh couldn’t help the shiver that trailed down his whole body. 

“Want me to blow you right here in the kitchen?” Josh nodded again, his head still resting against Harry’s chest. He could feel Harry vibrate with a low laugh. “But what about your pasta? You worked so hard on it.”

Josh swallowed, his voice already sounding wrecked as he replied. “Fuck the pasta.”

Harry laughed again, spinning Josh around until he could take hold of his face with both hands, kissing him fiercely. Josh melted beneath the other man, his hands wrapping around Harry’s wrists to try and keep himself upright, as Harry quickly backed him against a counter. Josh’s hands went to the countertop, steadying himself, as Harry’s hands slipped under his shirt, white hot against Josh’s skin. Josh moaned again, Harry swallowing up the sound, as Harry’s hands moved over his stomach and around his back. Harry’s lips dropped to Josh’s neck again, and Josh threaded his fingers through the younger man’s hair. 

“Please, baby.”

Harry seemed to be as pleased with the pet name as Josh had been with the other, hiking Josh’s shirt up until he could brush his lips over Josh’s pecs, leaving small kisses and nips behind. Josh could feel him lingering over his chest, those shiny silver barbells probably looking like an utter tease, but then Harry’s hands were fumbling for the waistband of his shorts, and Josh forgot to breathe for a moment. He was so close, closer than he’d ever been, and Josh practically ached to feel Harry’s hands on him. Harry’s lips stilled against Josh’s chest, as his hands slid beneath the elastic, coming around to take firm handfuls of Josh’s ass. 

“God bless these fucking running shorts.”

Josh could feel Harry smile against him briefly, before he watched as Harry slowly dropped to his knees. It was a sight to behold, Harry’s cheeks pink and his eyes shining, with his hands taking fistfuls of the shorts’ waistband, his lip between his teeth. He looked like he was about to unwrap the present he’d been begging for, and Josh had never felt so desired in his entire life. It was a heady feeling, making his brain feel foggy, but then Harry was slowly pulling down his shorts, the cool air hitting his bare skin. Josh shivered, but Harry held still, taking in the view just long enough to make Josh begin to worry, before Harry was leaning in to press a kiss just at the base of Josh’s dick. 

“Fuck you’re so beautiful.”

Josh had half a mind to blush, but then Harry’s right hand was wrapping around him, and all Josh could manage was a moan. Harry grinned up at him, before holding Josh’s gaze as he slowly lowered his head and took Josh into his mouth. The edges of Josh’s vision whited out as Harry wrapped his lips around Josh’s dick, swallowing him half way down without even breaking a sweat. Josh’s hands clenched harder around the edge of the counter, trying to suck in a breath as his eyes clamped shut and his head fell back. 

“Fuck.” The word ripped through Josh like a shudder, and Harry smiled around his cock. 

Harry’s left hand settled on Josh’s hip, holding him steady as Harry slowly took more of him in, his right hand sliding down to the base of Josh’s cock. He paused for a moment, letting them both adjust, and then he slid back up, just as agonizingly slowly. Josh moaned loudly, his hand reaching out for Harry’s hair again. Josh glanced down, just in time to watch Harry pop off his dick completely, before giving the head a long swipe of his tongue. Harry grinned again, that infernal grin, and Josh felt his stomach tighten. 

“You’re so worked up, love. You’re gonna come before this even gets fun.” Harry laid a long lick against the underside of Josh’s cock, chuckling as Josh shuddered again. “I’ve been dreaming about how I’d take care of you when you finally let me. I’m not gonna be satisfied with just sucking you off in the kitchen.”

Josh groaned again, as Harry took him back into his mouth, sucking strongly. “You can do whatever you want, baby. Please.”

As if it was the cue he’d been waiting for, Harry began bobbing his head slowly, his mouth chasing his hand with every stroke. Josh’s hand in Harry’s hair tightened, never pulling his head, but using the grip as a buoy, trying to keep himself above water. Josh didn’t know if it was the months of anticipation, or Harry’s warm, very skilled mouth, but he was determined to last longer than thirty seconds. Harry, of course, seemed determined to bring him to the edge as soon as possible, and it wasn’t long before he was increasing his pace, leaving Josh gasping. Harry’s fingers bit into the skin at Josh’s hip, and Josh sucked in a sharp breath, giving Harry’s hair a soft tug in the process. 

“Fuck I—“ Josh could feel that familiar tightening in the pit of his stomach, and as much as he wanted to hold himself back he knew it was useless. 

Harry pushed himself forward, swallowing Josh down until his nose was almost touching Josh’s pubic bone, and the older man came with a shout, his hand a vice in Harry’s hair. He panted loudly as his whole body began to tingle, Harry swallowing everything down without a bit of protest. After a few moments he leaned back on his heels, his hand replacing his mouth on Josh’s overly sensitive skin. Josh’s hand eventually loosened, his breathing slowing down a bit, and Harry pulled all the way off, running the pad of his thumb over his lower lip. Josh felt his dick twitch pathetically at the sight, and he almost laughed. 

Harry smiled as he got to his feet, pressing a kiss into Josh’s neck again, before his hands slipped back under Josh’s shirt and began pulling it over his head. “I told you, we’re not done yet.”

Josh’s clothes were left in a pile on the kitchen floor, as Harry took his hand and led him down the hall to Josh’s bedroom. Harry sat him down on the edge of his bed gently, before taking a step back and kicking off his boots. Josh’s head still felt a little floaty, in his post-orgasmic high, but as he watched Harry reach for the zipper of his own pants his thoughts crystallized into one request. His hand reached out for Harry’s, covering it and stopping his fingers from where they were fumbling. 

“Wait, can I—“ Josh glanced up at Harry, the request clear, even if Josh hadn’t managed to get all the words out. 

Harry smiled at him, removing his hands from the waistband and slipping one into Josh’s curls. “Of course, love.”

The pet name echoed in Josh’s head, warming him all the way to the tips of his toes, despite his nakedness. Harry’s hand combed through his hair softly as Josh struggled to make his fingers obey him. He felt almost drunk with want, his body desperate for what he’d denied himself for so long. Harry smiled at him, leaning down to kiss Josh’s temple gently, as Josh finally got the button undone and the zipper down. Josh took his time tugging down the other man’s pants, watching as Harry stepped out of the legs and kicked them to the side. A blush bloomed out over his cheeks, as Josh realized he wasn’t wearing any underwear. 

“Is it alright if I…?” Harry’s hands reached for the buttons of his own shirt, and Josh nodded wordlessly. 

He watched as Harry slipped each button through its hole, slowly, as more and more of his chest appeared through the soft, floral fabric. It was the most delicious kind of torture, watching those tattoos slowly begin to peek out, wanting to run his hands over them. Josh’s eyes kept coming back to the butterfly at the center of Harry’s chest, all that beautiful line work made delicate on his lightly tanned skin. As Harry finished Josh got to his feet, finally putting hands to skin as he slid them up over Harry’s chest and on to his shoulders. He paused for a moment before moving them further, until Harry’s shirt slipped from his shoulders to join his pants on the floor. 

Josh could hardly breathe as Harry smiled at him, Harry’s eyes so soft and full of adoration. Josh dipped his head until he could press a kiss to Harry’s shoulder, the skin warm and soft beneath his lips. He kissed up Harry’s collarbone and on to his neck, moving until he could place a small kiss behind Harry’s ear. Harry hummed quietly, his hands wrapping around Josh’s back tightly. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Josh didn’t even realize the whispered words were a thought until they were leaving his lips. 

Harry smiled, his cheeks turning a perfect pink, as he reached for Josh’s face, pulling him into a kiss. Josh melted against him again, offering no resistance as Harry sat him back down on the bed gently. 

“Lay back.” Harry’s voice was quiet, but firm, and Josh did as he was told. “I’m not done worshipping you yet.”

Josh didn’t feel like something to be worshiped, not with Harry there, glowing like Apollo himself. But he wanted to give Harry everything, whatever he wanted, just like Josh had said. Harry climbed on top of Josh’s hips, taking his face in his hands and kissing him softly again, as he moved them both further up the bed. When Josh’s head hit the pillows Harry stopped, leaning back to look Josh over as he settled onto Josh’s hips. Josh’s whole chest was flushed, his dick trying valiantly to get hard again from where Harry was pressed against it. 

“I wanna make love to you, Joshua Dun. I wanna feel you around me, watch the way you blush and moan as I come. I want you to feel how loved and safe you make me feel.”

Josh felt this throat tighten, his head already nodding softly. “ _Please._ ”

Harry smiled, dipping his head down to kiss Josh gently as he cupped his cheeks. Josh felt like he was floating again, warm and happy beneath Harry’s gentle touch. The younger man shifted slightly, breaking their kiss just briefly as he leaned over Josh’s shoulder. When he leaned back into view the lube from Josh’s nightstand drawer was in his hand, and Josh had a moment to wonder how Harry had known it was there, before Harry was pressing kisses into the soft skin below his ear that made him shiver. Harry shifted his hips again, sliding lower down Josh’s legs as he kissed over his chest. Two gentle kisses went to the side of each of his nipples, and Josh watched Harry grin at him wickedly. 

“I’m gonna have so much fun with those some day.” Josh could only shiver in response. 

Harry kissed over his stomach, down over his hip bones and into the sensitive skin of his thighs. Josh’s hands balled in the comforter of the bed, his body burning with so much need he wondered how he didn’t burst into flames. Harry pressed another gentle kiss at the base of Josh’s dick, and Josh let out a low moan. There was a quiet chuckle from Harry in response, and Josh heard the cap of the bottle click open. A warm hand slipped beneath his right knee, and Josh let his hips be rolled over until he was almost on his side. 

Another kiss went to his cleft of his ass, followed by a small nip that made Josh gasp as Harry spoke. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, love.”

Josh didn’t doubt him, he knew that Harry would take care of him, that Josh could trust him. A warm hand took hold of the meat of his ass this time, pulling his cheeks apart slowly until Josh could feel the cool air against his hole. He gasped again as a warm, slick finger circled his entrance, and Harry pressed a kiss into his asscheek, where Harry’s hand held him gently, but firmly open. Harry whispered to him, reassuring him, and when Harry’s finger finally pressed in to him Josh wasn’t surprised, only comforted. Josh moaned quietly and Harry laid another kiss against his skin. 

Harry moved his finger slowly in and out of Josh, letting him adjust, just barely grazing his prostate each time. It wasn’t long until Josh was panting, little moans and whimpers falling from his lips. 

“Please, Harry.” 

Harry rewarded him with another kiss, and Josh could feel warmth blooming out from where Harry’s lips had brushed his skin. When Harry added another finger there was no burn of pain, just the overwhelming feeling of pleasure, and Josh moaned again. Harry worked his fingers in and out of him gently, brushing Josh’s prostate each time he scissored them, until Josh felt so needy and overwhelmed he didn’t know how he could stand it. His whole chest felt hot in a flush, and Josh begged and whimpered without a coherent thought in his mind. 

The fingers slowly disappeared, and Josh felt the bed shift below him. Harry helped guide Josh until he was fully on his side, pressing himself against Josh’s back. Josh could feel the head of Harry’s cock brushing against his entrance and he nearly cried at the want that burned through his veins. 

“You ready, love?”

Josh’s hand reached up behind his head, taking hold of Harry’s hair. “Please. _Please_.”

Like everything else Harry slid into him gently, pressing further and further until he bottomed out inside of Josh, and Josh could do nothing but whimper. The warm hand slid under his knee again, lifting it higher toward his chest, and Josh could feel Harry pressing against his prostate again. He gasped loudly and Harry snaked his other arm around Josh’s chest, pulling him closer as he bit softly at Josh’s neck, covering the mark with a kiss. Harry’s hips began to rock back and forth, holding Josh tightly against him and hitting that spot over and over again. 

“ _Harry_.”

Josh could feel Harry smile against his neck, the younger man’s pace increasing slightly as he thrusted in and out of Josh. It was overwhelming: the smell of Harry in the air, his warm body holding him tight, filling him until Josh couldn’t remember what it had felt like when Harry wasn’t a part of him. Harry’s thrusts grew stronger, rocking them both back and forth. Harry’s hand slipped from below Josh’s knee, taking Josh’s cock in hand where it laid heavy against his chest. Josh could only gasp as Harry began stroking him in time with his thrusts, pushing Josh closer and closer to the edge. 

“ _Harry._ ”

“Yes, love. Just let go, I’ve got you.”

Josh came with a strangled moan, his fist tightening in Harry’s hair. Harry held him close as he thrusted a few more times before his hips stuttered to a stop, crying out Josh’s name as he came. Josh felt outside of his body, like he was floating somewhere among the stars of the darkening sky outside. Only Harry’s arm across his chest held him in place, anchoring him back down to the bed that they shared. Josh could feel tears at the corners of his eyes, overwhelmed, but feeling so safe, so secure. 

Harry’s lips brushed over his neck, placing soft kisses over and over again, just like that first time in Harry’s kitchen, covering every bit of skin they could find. Josh wanted to roll over, to kiss him properly, but the idea of being separated was too much to bear, so instead he melted against the other man, letting Harry draw him even closer. They laid like that for a few moments, both trying to catch their breath. Harry began to whisper to him, nothing and everything at the same time. How beautiful Josh was, how he was safe, that Harry wouldn’t let him go, and Josh could only hum contentedly. 

A few more minutes passed and then Josh’s whispered voice broke the silence. “Harry?”

“Yes, love?”

Josh turned his head until he could see Harry’s face over his shoulder. Harry’s cheeks were flushed, his hair a mess, and Josh thought he’d never looked more beautiful. “I—“

How to say what he wanted to say? How to ask for the world when Josh wasn’t even sure he deserved it. Josh rolled over fully, lamenting his loss, but finally able to see Harry completely. Harry watched him move, pulling Josh close to him again once they were facing each other, his fingers moving to rake through Josh’s hair. Josh closed his eyes, just for a moment, just to smell Harry around him, to feel the way his nails (a marigold yellow that had made him smile) brushed over his scalp. When he opened his eyes again Harry was watching him, and Josh decided to take a leap of faith. 

“I don’t want to be with anyone else, I only want you.”

Josh watched as a grin split Harry’s face, that perfect smile that he loved so much. “Oh Josh, I’ve been yours for a while now, love.”

Josh felt a blush bloom out over his cheeks. Of course, how silly he’d been. Suddenly the last few months came into focus: their quiet nights on the couch, boxing at the gym in the morning, Jim chasing Harry around the dog park. Josh had been so worried he would ruin it, or that he was falling for someone too quickly to catch himself, he’d missed Harry falling for him at the same time. All this time they’d spent tiptoeing around each other, trying not to break the spell, and finding there was nothing to break. 

Josh buried his face in Harry’s chest, feeling the way Harry shook with quiet laughter beneath him. Somewhere in the back of his mind a song came to him, and Josh hummed a few bars experimentally. 

“Are you…?”

Josh glanced up to find Harry watching him, an amused smile on this face, that Josh couldn’t help returning. 

“Couple billion in the whole wide world,” Josh leaned up to press a kiss to Harry’s lips, whispering the last few words like a secret only for Harry. “Find another one ‘cause he belongs to me.”


End file.
